Venting

ok .. here has come my time to do a little venting via blog! :) its been awhile, im pretty sure its well overdue ;)


ok so ive been dealing with baby momma drama for oh ya know, FIVE YEARS now! && just recently its started back up .. 


i have a hard time respecting anyoneeee who doesnt work & wants to live off someone else, whether it be husband, boyfriend, state, child support, whatever! if you are able, you get off your ass & contribute to your family! 


anyways .. so lately everything has been over twitter, LOL - i know, right!? she doesnt even have one yet always seems to know everyyyy little thing i post, hmmmm?! ;) why someone freaks out over what is said over social media is beyond me buttt she does. Idk why she thinks every little thing is about her, i mean c'mon i HATE a lot of bitches & most of the things i write are actually about multiple people .. it never has a name attached because its never about ONE person .. and for god's sake .. its JUST twitter! :) So, just the other night we were at my oldest's sons baseball game and as she shows up she called me a hoebag, lol :) then as we were leaving she gets bitchy about twitter again, so i tried ignoring but you can only ignore for so long .. and trust me, i have a temper when pushed. so of course i turned around & mouthed back .. so lets just say WWIII breaks out between everyone! yes, i shouldnt have said anything back & just let her look like a dumbass but like i said, you cant expect me to not defend myself! 


so now we have 4 people yelling at eachother .. TONS of other kids/parents now gathering to watch! talk about being completely mortified! I do gotta give her .. she just ran her mouth and then backed off once she noticed everyone else was watching (as if she didnt bring it on herself, but whatev) .. then her little sister (totally defining white trash) comes running over flaying her arms, screaming at the top of her lungs about how shes been to jail before and isnt afraid to go back with a baby in ONLY a diaper on her hip! (very classy, i know) 


so lets just say .. we ended up with 3 cop cars there .. yes, like i said .. MORTIFYING! although one of the cops had a sense of humor thank god! he asked how long they had been split up & this had been going on & my husband was like i left her 6 years ago & ive been with my wife for 5 years! so the cops jaw of course hit the ground & looked at me with a smile to pop off, "well you know those women - theyre all crazy!" LOL! pshh, like i told him, im just fabulous .. every man should have a woman like me :))


but at the end of the day, it was just horrible, especially considering all the kids were there! thats some shit you deal with when they arent around! the whole way home they were just more upset that it happened the way it did .. when we got home they both gave hugs & said you guys didnt do anything .. but they shouldnt even understand whats going on! 


so i was sure to tell my son's step mother how much i appreciate her & of that fact that if we've ever had issues we talk about it alone & never in front of Ty! thank goodness for that at least! :) 


well .. the moral of the story is people need to stop taking a social media site so damn seriously & to have enough dignity to deal with things in private! :) 


ok, my rants over .. but in good news .. im looking forward to friday! im skipping outta work earlyyy & heading home to hit the pool with the family! :) the hubbys brother, girlfriend & son are heading up along with my most favvv niece! (my only niece :p) so i cant wait to jump in the pool & lay out to work on this tan that seems to be fading! :( 


well, till next time! :) 


#muchlove 

Ozarks Getaway!

So over the weekend was my "operation surprise mother" .. and i must say, it was a success! she had absolutely NO idea we were coming :)) she was working so we showed up during her lunch break and hid out in her office and jumped out at her as she walked back in .. yep, i pulled it off! :) 


well we spent our weekend just having a blast .. obviiii we spent most of it in the water, i mean helloooo, thats the best part of the ozarks! :) friday once we got settled in we went swimming & then that night we took the ranger out on some trails .. we almost flipped it once but we made it out alive .. *whew! :) 


saturday we spent the day out on the lake .. i of course, spent it floating out in the sun catching some rays & watching the boats go by :) #bestmoments .. jeremy of course spent it on the jetski, i must say, he sure looks hott on one of those! ;) after the lake we went to see the animals next door .. zebras, camels & donkeys! :) after that we swam and the resort place that holds the animals, they have a huge slide & one of those water trampolines .. it was a blast! :) sunday was a lounge day & we did some fishing .. 


i did not want to head home but it sure was what i needed .. a weekend away from reality & all the drama that comes with it! :) every girl just needs some sun, water & alchy to make her feel better :) the only down part to the whole weekend was i lost my FAVORITE neon glasses to the lake :(( i cant find anyyyyy anywhere else that even come close to those! #bummer! 


well, until next time .. 
#muchlove


enjoyyyyy some pictures :) 

 first day there - heading swimming ... RIP glasses :(

 the kids ready to head out on the ranger!

 playing in the lake!

 ahhhh .. perfection! :)

 complete serenity!

 Ty fishing :)

 Mommy & Zoey! :)

 relaxing after swimming

 floating away .. ahhh my kinda life!

 just fishing .. with my sons spiderman pole ;)

grandma & Ty kayaking 

Just Kinda Off ..

So ive been feeling pretty "off" lately .. my emotions are running wild & i cant seem to put them in check! i know most of it is im PMSing but some of it is the feelings i keep hidden deep down that i dont talk to anyoneeeee about, not even my husband! ive been feeling that im need of just a good cry .. well i finally had that last night :) & i must say, i do feel tons better!!! :)) 


i think alot of it is my deep feeling of survivors guilt that noone will ever be able to convince me otherwise! its been 9 years since my dad died, yet im not able to move on from it & i think the reason why is my feeling of survivors guilt. i keep telling myself that if i only wouldve taken him home like i was supposed to then he'd still be here .. everyone tells me that no matter what my dad was destined to die that night & if id been with him id probably be dead too .. yea, well id feel better then! & whose to say 100% that it was ment to be that night!? if i wouldve taken him home he wouldnt have been out on the road that late at night to crash with that car, so maybe i couldve saved him??! Its hard for me to know that i heard the things i heard that night & it was all ripped away in a matter of hours after i left! :( 


i am 100% against drunk driving - hes missed out on soooo much because of one night! his friend was the one drunk driving .. my dad was trying to be the responsible one of not driving after drinking, just made the mistake of trusting someone else. because of one night of fun he missed both of my proms, my graduation, my marriages, his grandson being born, my brother playing high school sports, his graduation & just the moments of life with his family! 


noone seems to understand why i just cant get over it & move on with my life .. well, if you felt responsible as to why he wasnt here anymore, would you be able to get over it?! didnt think so .. especially when i have my son every now & then say he wishes he got to meet his grandpa & that his grandpa flies around with his wings because hes an angel now!  just kills you on the inside .. to think, i couldve prevented all this! 


looking back now, i know i didnt see my dad enough or spend enough time with him .. i cant take it back now but i sure wish i could! i wish i could just tell him how sorry i am & how i wish i couldve changed the outcome! maybe one day ill find a true someone (a medium, a psychic, etc) who can connect us & i can tell him everything .. i feel, thats the only way id ever be able to come to terms with whats happened .. 


well, until then .. i will just have to continue to deal in my own way .. thanks for listening to my ramble! 


#muchlove

Sneaky Daughter

so im pretty sure im being a sneaky daughter .. my mother moved to the lake of the ozarks last summer and shes been complaining about when i will be coming back down for a visit. Its been since Thanksgiving since we've been there .. so i have decided to go down this weekend & surprise her with a visit! 


So we will be leaving here at 530AM friday and should be arriving at her work around 11ish :) shes gonna be stoked! I HATE surprises but i sure love giving them! although, i feel pretty bad because i dont wanna give myself away so ive been ignoring my moms calls/texts all week. whoops! ohwell, she will be fine once we get there!


im pretty excited about a weekend away .. i feel like my emotions have been running wild for awhile now & i need some me time with the sun to feel better & balance myself back out! 


muchlove*